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Have a Laugh with us;
Woman's Joke's about Men.
Why do men become smarter during sex
because they are plugged into a genius
Why don't women blink during sex
They don't have enough time
Why do men snore when sleeping on their backs?
because their balls fall over their butt hole and cause a vapour lock
Why does it take it a million sperm to fertilise one egg?
they don't stop to ask directions
Why did God put men on earth?
because a vibrator cannot mow the lawn.
What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
What men know about women.
Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Why do men like BMWs?
They can spell it.
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.
How are men like commercials?
You can't believe a word either one of them says and they both last about 60 seconds.
How Dogs and Men Are the Same?
Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
Both are threatened by their own kind.
Both mark their territory.
Both are bad at asking you questions.
Neither tells you what's bothering them.
Both tend to smell riper with age.
The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
Both fart shamelessly.
Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
Both like dominance games.
Both are suspicious of the postman.
Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
Top Male Professions and Why?
1. Doctor. Because he says, Take off your clothes.
2. Dentist. Because he says, Open Wide.
3. Hairdresser. Because he says, Do you want it teased or blown.
4. Milkman. Because he says, Do you want it in front or in back?
5. Interior Decorator. Because he says, Once you have it all in, you'll love it.
6. Banker. Because he says, If you take it out to soon, you'll lose interest.
7. Mailman. Because he always delivers his package.
8. Pilot. Because he takes off fast and then slows down.
9. Hunter. Because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice, and always eats what he shoots.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a woman?
Because when it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
Why are husbands like lawnmowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odours, and don't work half the time.
Why would women be better off if men treated them like cars?
At least then they would get a little attention every 6 months or 50,000 miles, whichever came first.
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